Calm the Storm | Brave Feelings Lab

Welcome to Calm the Storm

Hey there! This is a safe space just for you.

Everyone gets angry or frustrated sometimes — even grown-ups. That's completely normal.

In this lab you'll learn powerful tools to notice anger early, hit pause, and reset — so anger doesn't take over.

Ready? Let's go!

Meet Alex

This is Alex — age 9, loves soccer, drawing, and hanging out with friends.

Alex is a pretty great kid. But sometimes things happen that make Alex feel really, really upset.

We're going to follow Alex through a tough moment — and figure out what to do together.

Alex's Tough Moment

Today at school, Alex worked really hard on a project. Then another kid knocked it over — and it broke.

The other kid laughed. The teacher didn't see it happen.

Alex felt something hot and tight rising inside. Hands curled into fists. A loud voice wanted to burst out.

Have you ever felt something like that?

What Anger Can Feel Like

Anger is a real feeling — and it shows up in your body and your thoughts. Some kids describe anger like:

🔥 A fire spreading up from your belly
⚡ A bolt of energy with nowhere to go
🌊 A wave crashing over you
🥁 A drum beating louder and louder in your chest

None of these feelings are bad. Anger is telling you that something matters to you.

Notice Your Body Clues

Your body gives you early warning signs that anger is building — like a dashboard light. Check the ones you notice in yourself:

❤️ Heart beating fast 🌡️ Face feeling hot 😤 Tight feeling in chest ✊ Hands making fists 😬 Feeling shaky 📢 Voice getting louder 🫃 Stomach feeling tight

Face Clues and Hand Clues

Two places anger shows up first are your face and your hands.

😠Eyebrows scrunch down and together

😬Jaw tightens or teeth clench

✊Hands curl into fists

💪Arms tense up and feel stiff

When you feel these, your body is saying: "Anger is here."

💡 Open your hands first. Open palms help your brain feel calmer.

Thought Clues

Anger also shows up in your thoughts. These fast, loud thoughts are called hot thoughts — and they're not always true.

"That's so unfair!"
"They always do this to me!"
"I can't take this anymore!"
"I'm going to explode!"

Hot thoughts make the fire bigger. Noticing them is the first step to turning them down.

The Power of the Pause

Here's a secret: there is always a tiny moment between feeling angry and doing something about it.

That moment is called the pause.

In the pause, you have a choice — let anger take the wheel, or take it back.

Alex's storm level right now:

Pretty high — but the pause helps bring it down.

Name the Feeling

Putting a name on a feeling helps calm the thinking part of your brain. Scientists call it "name it to tame it."

What do you think Alex is feeling right now?

What do you usually feel when you get upset?

Tool 1 · The Big Breath

The fastest way to turn down anger is to breathe slowly on purpose. It signals your body that you're safe.

Press Start

Tool 2 · The Long Exhale

Breathing out longer than you breathe in tells your brain to calm down faster. Try: breathe in for 4, breathe out slowly for 6.

Press Start

💡 Even one slow exhale can take the edge off anger.

Tool 3 · Count to Five

When anger spikes, your brain needs a few seconds to catch up. Tap each number slowly and breathe once between each:

Tool 4 · Step Away Safely

Sometimes the best move is to calmly move your body away from what's making you angry — just for a few minutes. This isn't running away. It's a smart reset.

1Say calmly: "I need a minute."

2Walk to a quieter spot.

3Use one of your breathing tools.

4Come back when you feel steadier.

💡 Stepping away is brave, not weak. It protects you and the people around you.

Hot Thoughts vs Cool Thoughts

Hot thoughts pour fuel on anger. Cool thoughts help you think more clearly.

"This is so unfair!"

→

"I don't like this, but I can handle it."

"They always do this!"

→

"This is one hard moment. It will pass."

"I'm going to lose it!"

→

"I can take a breath and slow down."

Choose a Safe Action

After you pause and breathe, anger still needs somewhere to go — safely. Which of these work for you?

🚶 Walk it out 🎨 Draw how I feel 🛋️ Squeeze a pillow ✏️ Write it down 🗣️ Talk to someone I trust 💧 Splash cool water on my face 🏃 Jump or do jumping jacks

Quick Reflection

Think of the last time you felt really angry. What happened?

Which tool do you wish you'd had in that moment?

Alex's Second Tough Moment

After school, Alex is playing a board game with a sibling. The sibling accuses Alex of cheating — but Alex wasn't cheating at all.

Alex feels anger rising again. Face gets hot. Voice wants to shout.

But this time, Alex remembers something from earlier today... What do you think it was?

What Could Alex Do Next?

Alex has a few choices. Which one is best?

The Best Choice

The two best choices for Alex were: taking a slow breath and responding calmly, or stepping away to reset.

Both protect Alex's feelings and the relationship with the sibling.

Choices that feel satisfying in the moment — yelling, storming off — usually make things worse and feel bad afterward.

It's hard to pick the calm choice when you're really upset. But every time you practice, it gets easier.

The Reset Sequence

Here's a simple sequence you can use anytime anger starts to build:

1Notice — body clues, face clues, hot thoughts

2Pause — find that tiny moment of choice

3Breathe — one slow breath in, longer breath out

4Name it — say to yourself what you're feeling

5Choose — pick a safe action and take it

💡 Notice. Pause. Breathe. Name it. Choose.

Tool 5 · The Body Shake-Out

Anger stores as tension in your muscles. Shaking it out is fast and safe. Do this with me right now:

🤲 Shake your hands hard for 5 seconds
💪 Let your arms go floppy and shake them
🦵 Stomp your feet three times on the floor
🐕 Give your whole body a big shake
😮‍💨 Blow out all the air in one big whoosh

Tool 6 · Squeeze and Let Go

This tool helps you notice and release tension. Follow along:

✊Squeeze your hands into fists — hold 3 seconds — let go

💪Squeeze your arms tight to your sides — hold 3 seconds — let go

😬Scrunch your face — hold 3 seconds — let go

🦶Curl your toes — hold 3 seconds — let go

Notice how much softer your body feels after each squeeze-and-release!

Tool 7 · Ask for Help

Sometimes anger is too big to handle alone. Asking for help is one of the bravest things you can do. It's okay to say:

"I'm really upset and I need help."
"Can you sit with me for a minute?"
"I don't know how to handle this."

Who in your life is safe to go to when you're really upset?

After Anger Passes

Sometimes when we're angry we say or do things we don't mean. That's human. Once you've calmed down, it's important to make things right.

1Wait until you're truly calm — not still hot.

2Say honestly: "I got angry and I said something unkind."

3Apologize if you hurt someone.

4Ask what you can do to make it better.

💡 Making things right is a sign of real strength.

My Calm Plan

A Calm Plan is your personal game plan for the next time anger shows up. Fill it in:

When I notice anger, my first body clue is: My first go-to calming tool is: My safe action after breathing is: If I need help, I will go to:

My Safe Helpers

It helps to know ahead of time who is in your corner. List the people you trust when anger gets big:

💡 You don't have to face hard feelings alone. That's what helpers are for.

Your Storm-Calming Toolkit

Look at everything you've learned! Here's your full toolkit:

🔍 Notice body clues and hot thoughts
⏸️ Find the pause — that tiny moment of choice
💨 The Big Breath
🌬️ The Long Exhale
🔢 Count to Five
🚶 Step Away Safely
🧊 Swap hot thoughts for cool thoughts
🤝 Choose a safe action
🐕 The Body Shake-Out
✊ Squeeze and Let Go
💬 Ask for Help
💛 Make things right after

You Did It — Celebrate!

You just worked through the whole Calm the Storm lab. That's a big deal.

You showed up. You learned hard things. You thought about your own feelings with real courage.

Let's take one final celebration breath together:

Press to Celebrate

For Parents & Caregivers

Your child just completed Calm the Storm — an anger-regulation program by Brave Feelings Lab.

How to follow up:

Ask them to show you their Calm Plan and discuss it together.
Ask which calming tools they want to try first next time anger comes up.
Practice the Big Breath or Body Shake-Out together so it becomes familiar.
Name it when you see them use a tool: "I noticed you took a breath — that was really mature."

If anger is frequent or intense: Consider speaking with your child's school counselor or a licensed therapist. This program is a supportive tool, not a replacement for professional support.

⛅

Storm Calmer Certificate

This certifies that

Storm Calmer

has completed

Calm the Storm

An Anger Reset Lab for Kids

Brave Feelings Lab · Benne Hart

You are stronger than any storm.

Your name for the certificate: